I feel like I lost who I am once I had babies. Some days I wish things were just a bit easier for James and me (who would have thought marriage would be soooooo much work?). Some days I want to sit and have a good cry for a bit. Some days I want just an hour to myself, where I can just not have to deal with a single thing (babies, husband, cats). Some days it is so lonely here that I wish we were back in the States.
Most days I am glad I get to be a stay at home mommy for now. Most days I am happy that we get to live overseas and experience many new things.
Every day I am thankful that I get sweet baby kisses from 2 of the cutest girls in the world. Every day I know I am blessed to have this life that I have been given.
I am just having a moment where I needed to get this out because I am just feeling sorry for myself. I miss having a paying job, miss being able to walk out my front door and talk to my neighbor. I miss popping the girls into the stroller and walking to Starbucks or going to see a friend. I really miss my friends! Friends are so hard to make and I will say that I haven't made too much of an effort but I am at a different place than others are. I can't wait until "my person" moves to Germany. I have missed having a girl around that knows me and maybe God is bringing her here for me, maybe he knows I need a friend in order to survive the next 3 years here and she couldn't be arriving at a more perfect time.
Today is just a lonely day for me.